A Better Understanding

It’s time for a better understanding of addiction

As an ex-addict I have always struggled with the experts view of addiction. I don’t believe that addiction is an incurable disease, a sign of weakness or even ultimately a medical problem at all. Addiction is an extreme version of a normal human drive, the drive to escape uncomfortable feelings and the drive to feel good, to be happy and to discover the peaks of human experience. The addictive impulse is not a disease, it is your evolutionary drive, it’s part of who you are and within the makeup of every human being. Recovery is not about fighting that desire, suppressing it or medicating against it, but is about learning how to manage it effectively and how to work with it and channel it in a way that allows you to be at peace with yourself and to live well in the world. Recovery is not about surviving one day at a time, it’s about learning a better way to find what you were looking for.

So what is addiction?

There can be two parts to addiction - physical and psychological. A physical addiction can develop if you’re drinking very heavily or if you regularly use tranquilisers or opiates. The body develops a tolerance to the substance and if it doesn’t get it, will go into “withdrawal”. Withdrawal may be mild and require no medical help at all, but in extreme cases it can be very unpleasant and with alcohol and benzodiazepines can even be fatal. I'm not a medical person so if you do have a physical dependency we'll enlist the help of a doctor, who can provide medical support to help you through the detox. If your own GP can't help, then I know one that can. I work closely with a number of private clinicians who offer a whole range of detox options.

In many ways treating the physical addiction is the easy bit, staying clean or sober is much more of a challenge and it is very common for people to complete a detox and relapse over and over again. You see taking your drink or drugs away is one thing, but living without them is quite another and unless the psychological side of your addiction is addressed, your chances of recovery are very remote.

Psychological addiction is the major factor in relapse and is the driving force behind problem drinking, cocaine addiction and cannabis addiction as well as addictions where there is no addictive substance involved at all, like gambling, sex addiction, and compulsive eating. My work addresses the psychological side of addiction and is effective regardless of whether the addiction has a physical element or is purely psychological.

How is your approach different?

I’ve pretty much given up on traditional approaches now, the theories look good in the text books and learning them got me through university but as anyone involved with addiction will tell you, they really aren’t that effective in reality. They didn't work for me and they don't seem to offer a real solution to the majority of people struggling with this dreadful condition (some put recovery rates as low as 5%). If like so many others, you despair of traditional approaches I would like to offer you an alternative, more hopeful understanding of addiction.

Lets start with the basics. Ask yourself - "Why do you take mind altering substances or engage in mind altering behaviours"? Well, er - it’s because you want to alter your state of mind, of course. - It's not rocket science is it?

Whether you are shutting down hurt or dealing with insecurities and a lack of confidence with booze or you are chasing a buzz with cocaine, gambling or dangerous sex, you are trying to change what is going on inside of you. You take mind-altering substances or engage in mind-altering behaviours because you want to alter your state of mind and change how you feel. And why wouldn't you want to do that!

My guess is, that like me and all the other addicts I've worked with, your mind isn't always a great place to be. Maybe you worry constantly about what will happen, or you keep going over awful things that have happened; maybe your mind is full of loss or regrets or injustices, or is constantly telling you that you are guilty or not good enough or maybe it's simply boredom and restlessness. But what ever is going on in your head, my guess is that a lot of the time its pretty unpleasant.

Wanting to get away from pain or discomfort is the most normal thing in the world. Everyone wants relief from pain and if your mind is a painful place to be, what choice do you really have? I challenge anyone to live in my head sober, it was never a long-term option for me, nor is it a realistic option for most of you caught in the addictive trap.

What is the addictive trap?

Here's how it works. We learn usually quite early in our lives, that we can take something or do something that changes how we feel. We discover that we can chemically alter our mood. We can rid ourselves of boredom, loneliness, anxiety and guilt with a drink, a line, a bet, or what ever. We learn that we can instantly feel better or move to a better place and even get high.

Booze was the big one for me; whenever I felt any emotional discomfort I used alcohol to change it. If I needed confidence I would drink, if I was anxious I would drink, if I was angry I would drink, if I was unhappy I would drink, if I was bored or lonely I would drink, if I was excited I would drink, if I was happy I would drink - I even managed positive emotions with my addictions!

But as any addict knows, addictions are only a short-term solution. Eventually the things that we are using to make ourselves feel better start to create the painful feeling that we are desperately trying to escape. The comedowns, relationships problems, work problems, financial problems, health problems, need I go on? But the only way we know how to deal with this, is to sink deeper in to our addictions. The worse we feel, the stronger the addictive impulse and then the worse we feel. It’s a cycle that can seem impossible to break.

So what is the answer?

It's common sense really. You need a better way of dealing with what is going on inside of you. You need to learn a better way to manage yourself; you need a better way to manage your emotions and a better way to get the highs from life. You see everyone wants to escape pain and everyone wants to experience the highs in life that is normal, it is the most normal thing in the world. It's not this drive that is the problem, it is how you are going about managing it.

The answer is to find a better way, a better way of doing what you have been trying to do, to learn a way that works long term and doesn't lead to more pain and problems.

And that is what my work is about - teaching you that better way.

For a better way click here.

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